


5 Bad Moments & 1 Really Good One

by soapyconnor



Series: Porcelain Family [1]
Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Horror, Kidnapping, M/M, Parent!AU, Slight Cursing, cuphead and mugman are their kids, king dice beats up a few people, the body horror isn't too graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-30 01:52:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12643740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soapyconnor/pseuds/soapyconnor
Summary: basically what the title suggests lol





	5 Bad Moments & 1 Really Good One

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!!!! this is what my 3rd cuphead fic??? ive been working on this for nano i hope u like it!!!!! follow me on tumblr: @heggsys & @dicesheads
> 
> ps this is unbeta'd

  1. Did you bring the kids?



 

King Dice stood in the Devil’s office, fingering through his stack of papers. “Now, I’m going to leave early. Cuphead and Mugman aren’t dressed yet, but the butlers will help them with that. You guys need to be there by seven. You need to remember to bring them with you, okay? Last time you didn’t they nearly destroyed the house . . . Devil? Are you listening?” King Dice called, putting his hands on his hips. He cocked his hips out to one side, and he stared hard at the Devil, who was doodling on a piece of paper.

“Huh, what?” The Devil said, glancing up. “Yeah, I’m listening. I always listen you.”

King Dice didn’t really believe him, but he didn’t have time to go over what he said again. He was running late after all, and he needed to make sure he was there first. If he wasn’t, it would look really bad on them. It probably looked bad on them already that only one of them was showing up at first, and the others weren’t coming until the event had been going on for two hours. But Dice didn’t want to fight with any of them tonight. “All right, as long as you know what you’re supposed to be doing.” He put the stack of papers between his arm and he leaned over the table, kissing the Devil softly on the forehead. “See you soon. Love you,” and with that said, he turned and hurried out the door, his nose in the papers once more.

The Devil leaned back in his chair, and lit a cigar. He sucked the air between his lungs. He really had no idea what the fuck King said, but he figured it wouldn’t be so hard to fuck up tonight.

 

 

Cuphead jumped off his bed, and landed on Mugman’s, causing him to yelp and scramble into a corner. “Cuphead! Stop that! You know papa comes in you’ll get in trouble, _serious_ trouble!” Mugman exclaimed, and he lightly kicked at Cuphead. “Besides, you might break something! They’ll be even more mad at that!”

“Papa’s not here, you know that. Dad’s supposed to take us to the party. Dad’s super relaxed. He won’t yell at me. He never does.”

“He yelled at you that day you broke all of papa’s glassware.”

“That’s because those were given to papa by grandpa. If they had been anything else, he wouldn’t have yelled at me,” Cuphead replied, flopping backwards on Mugman’s bed. “Besides, if I get yelled at, he might just make me stay home!”

“You just want to stay home? Why don’t you just ask?”

“Because papa _said_ we have to go. Dad never goes against papa’s wishes, unless he . . . well . . . forgets about what he’s supposed to do.”

“He never does that.”

Cuphead scoffed at him. “Just wait.”

 

 

The Devil sighed, adjusting his tie. He hated wearing suits. They were the most uncomfortable thing in the world. He was the Devil, for crying out loud, and he was being forced to wear a suit. Of course, the person forcing him to wear the suit was his husband, and he shouldn’t go against his wishes. While it didn’t rhyme, the meaning still meant the same. Happy husband, happy life.

He used the lint roller to get all of his hair off of the suit, before he grabbed the papers Dice had left for him. He began to walk out the house, and he rummaged through them. He was confused as to why the house was so silent, but he just shrugged it off and walked towards the front door. The skeleton butler opened the door, but gave him a confused look. “Sir, aren’t you forgetting something?”

The Devil looked up, and gave him a look. “I’m not forgetting anything.”

“Sir, I think you are—”

“If I was forgetting something, I would know.”

The butler’s jaw snapped shut, and his lips pursed. If he could, he’d swallow heavily. He just nodded and let him go, closing the door behind him. The Devil walked to the car and got in, not looking up from his papers.

 

 

King Dice gave him a confused look as he approached him at the party. He excused himself from the people he was talking too, and he walked up to the Devil, gently grabbing his head. “Honey, where are the kids?” he asked. “You remembered to bring the kids, didn’t you?” There was a brief moment of silence, and the Devil’s eyes went wide with realization. “You . . . you remembered to bring the kids, didn’t you?”

“I . . . I thought you brought them?”

“Why would I bring them? You know that they get bored easily! We always said that one of us would stay behind and arrive about an hour or so late so that they’ll be able to last a lot longer. How could you forget that?” King Dice asked, his voice slightly raising a bit in panic. A couple of the other guests’ gazes were drawn to them at the escalating voice, and the Devil had to tightly squeeze Dice’s hands to get him to stop.

“I-I know, I’m sorry—”

“You _told_ me that you heard what I said!”

“I-I didn’t want to worry you! I’m sorry, I’ll go back and get them—”

“You can’t leave, you just got here! People have been wondering where you’ve been, and quite a few of them have been wanting to talk to you.”

“Can you leave?”

“No, I have far too many people to talk too. I . . . God. I’ll call the house and tell the butlers what’s going on. I-I think they can watch them for a while . . .”

The Devil looked apologetically at Dice. “I’m sorry.”

King Dice just stared at him, and shook his head. “We’ll discuss this later,” he said, patting the Devil’s cheek, before he quickly walked away.

 

 

The ride home was tense. When King Dice had originally called, the butler had picked up. The butler had reported that everything was fine, and that the porcelain kids were getting a bath by one of the maids. That had caused Dice to relax, at least for a little bit. What caused his stress level to reach its max was when he recalled the home about two hours later to see if anything had changed, and that Cuphead had been the one to pick up the phone. He insisted that everything was okay, and while King Dice loved him with all his heart, he didn’t trust him. If Cuphead said everything was okay, that meant that house was burning to the ground.

He pulled his gloves off his hands and began to wring it anxiously. The Devil glanced him, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. He reached out, placing a hand on Dice’s knee, causing Dice’s gaze to snap to him. “This is all my fault, I’m sorry. I got you so stressed out when this should have been an easy night for you. I’m really sorry that I forgot the kids,” he said, giving Dice an apologetic look. “I know you said that Cuphead had answered the phone when you called, but everything should be okay. We haven’t gotten a call from the fire department, and no police officers showed up at the house. I know it must be hard when they’re literally nine and seven years old, but they couldn’t have messed up that bad.”

King Dice glared at him. “You’re going to eat your words, and I’m going to love it,” he responded, causing the Devil’s jaw to snap shut, and placing his hand back in his own lap. “Don’t speak to me until we see the state of our house.”

“Yes, love.”

 

 

They pulled up to the house, and the Devil was relieved to see it was still in one piece. The driver got out and opened the door for them. The Devil hurried and got out. He was going to wait for Dice, but Dice had flung himself out of the car and was running up the steps, causing him to run to catch up.

Dice ran into the house first, and the loud gasp caused the Devil to stop. That was _not_ a good sign, and he wasn’t ready to have all of the hair shaved off of his body quite yet. But, he knew that he was going to have to face this sooner or later, so he walked in behind Dice. White hot rage immediately filled him from head to toe, and he completely forgot about how angry Dice was going to be.

The house was _destroyed_. There was not one part of the house left untouched, and he knew instantly who the culprit was. Some of the maids were trying to clean up, but he knew it would take them hours to clean this mess up. He didn’t want to know what the rest of the house looked like. Before King Dice could speak, he shouted, “ _Cuphead!_ ”

There was a loud crash, before the sound of footsteps. He was about to unleash his anger at whoever was approaching, but stopped himself when he saw Mugman on the second story walkway.

“I didn’t do it!” Mugman shouted down.

“We know,” King Dice said, his voice surprisingly calm. Although, he was always gentle with Mugman . . . “Where’s Cuphead?”

“In our room. He’s . . . he’s stuck on the ceiling fan.”

“He’s _what?_ ” The Devil and King Dice said in unison. They looked at each other momentarily, before they ran upstairs, with King Dice scooping up Mugman when they passed. They burst into the brother’s room, and both halted when they saw Cuphead on the slowly spinning fan. He was tangled up in his suit jacket, and he looked quite embarrassed. He was also in tears, much to their surprised. Cuphead _never_ cried.

“Help me!” he squealed, and struggled to get down. It appeared that one of the butlers had tried to help, but none of them were tall enough to reach the fan. Luckily, the Devil was.

He turned the fan off, and once it stopped did he reach up and slowly pull Cuphead off the fan. He fell heavily into his arms, immediately curling up in his grasp, and burying his face along his suit jacket. “Cuphead—” the Devil began, but King Dice cut him off.

“What were you think?” he asked, stepping forward and looking down at Cuphead. “How the hell did you even get up there?”

“It was an accident! I’m sorry!” Cuphead exclaimed, and the Devil could feel him shaking. “I’m sorry.”

“Tell that to the maids! They’re going to have to clean up your mess now. I’m starting to think that you should go down and help them!” King Dice said.

“I will! I will help them, I promise,” Cuphead responded, pressing his head against the Devil’s chest.

King Dice relaxed at his response. “I know you will. That will be your punishment along with the fact that you’re _grounded_ , mister,” he said, “But we’re glad to know you’re safe.”

The Devil looked up at him, and their eyes met. Dice’s eyes were soft, and he gently touched Devil’s bicep. He knew in that instant that he was forgiven.

 

  1. Left alone with the Devil



 

“I’m leaving you alone with them for a couple of hours. Do you think you can handle it?” Dice asked, rolling up his sleeves. “I don’t want a repeat of last time.”

The Devil scoffed. “Last time was an accident, you know that. Besides, last time I was gone. I just forgot to bring them to a party. That’s all!”

Dice rolled his eyes. “I’m still blaming you for last time. Like I told you, don’t try to be their friend, you’re not supposed to be their friend. That’s not why we adopted them. We’re supposed to be their parents, and that includes being the bad guy every once in a while,” he said, one of his hands tracing a scar on his elbow.

“Dice. I’m the _Devil_. Being the bad guy is my thing.”

His husband gave him a blank look. “Right. If things get too hairy, and you can’t handle it, call me. I’ll come home immediately.” He walked around the table, and laid a gentle kiss against his temple. “I love you. I’ll try to be home soon, okay? Good luck.”

The Devil scoffed, but turned and quickly got his cheek. “How hard can they be?” he asked, smiling softly at him.

He didn’t like the grin Dice give him. “You will eat your words.”

 

 

At the time, Devil didn’t really believe Dice when he said that he would eat his words. For the first two hours it had gone pretty well. Mugman—like always—was very well behaved, and Cuphead wasn’t being that big of a trouble maker. Yeah, he had taken Mugman’s straw, and yeah, he did spill the contents of his head all over the couch, but he had been doing well.

Of course, once it got time for the boring, routine stuff, he decided to cause trouble.

“Cuphead, eat your dinner,” the Devil said softly, trying to coax him into eating the remaining vegetables on his plate.

“No, I don’t like vegetables,” he responded, and attempting to get up from the table.

“Cuphead. Sit.” Cuphead flopped down into his seat again, and looked sadly at the Devil. “I know vegetables don’t taste good, and I hate them myself, but your papa would skin me if he found out I let you get off easy. You always eat them for him, why are you giving me such a hard time?”

“Because you’re the cool parent,” he said, and swung his legs.

The Devil’s mouth drew into a thin line, and then he sighed softly. “Please. Just eat your dinner. If you eat them, I’ll give you a cupcake. Deal?”

Cuphead sat up, interested. “Deal.”

He sighed with relief as he began to eat his vegetables. It wasn’t so easy being the bad guy. He didn’t know how Dice did it.

 

 

“Cuphead! Time to do your homework!” The Devil called as Mugman got down from his chair and ran off. He ran up the staircase, and the Devil expected Cuphead to come down shortly like he did with Dice, but a minute passed and he didn’t. He frowned, then shouted again. “Cuphead!”

“Just sign the paper, nobody has to know!” Cuphead shouted in response.

“Your father will know. Now, come here!” he shouted back. He waited, and then when he heard the loud thumping of approaching footsteps. He looked towards the entryway, and he sat Cuphead standing there, shoulders slouched, and looking quite pathetic. “Oh, enough with that. You do your homework when Dice calls you. Come on, it won’t take long. Especially if you sit down and focus.”

“You’re no longer the cool dad.”

“Well, I’m sorry. I can’t be the cool dad all the time. Do you want your dad to skin me?”

“He does that all the time!”

“He’s not _skinning_ me!” Devil replied, surprised. “He’s just helping me shed!”

“Yeah? Dang.”

“Either way, let’s do your homework. If you just help me out, and do it, you’ll be done quickly. Mugman got his done in twenty minutes. Let’s see if you can do better,” he said, trying to make it some kind of game. When he saw Cuphead perk up, he relaxed.

 

 

Tiredly, he fell down onto his bed. The kids were both asleep, and he was so God damn tired. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if he had two Cupheads instead of just the one. He was about to doze off, when he heard soft footsteps approaching. He lifted his head, and smiled weakly at King Dice as he walked in.

King Dice threw his jacket on the ground, and quickly undressed. “Hey,” he said softly, smiling at the Devil. He climbed into bed, not bothering to put on pajamas, and snuggled into the Devil, causing him to purr like a cat. “How were our boys?

“Mugman was fine like usual, but Cuphead gave me some trouble. He thought because I was the ‘fun dad’ that he’d be able to get away with things. I don’t know how you do it,” he responded with a sigh.

“I do it by being both. Somedays I’m the fun parent but they know when it comes to stuff like that that I won’t let them get away with it easily. I’m glad you got them to do it, though. Although I wouldn’t have been too mad if you couldn’t.”

The Devil let out a weird strangled sound. “Huh! You made it sound like you were going to skin me alive if I didn’t get them to do everything you usually did!”

“I was just messing with you. Gosh, you take things so seriously sometimes,” King Dice replied with a chuckle, burying his face in his fur.

The Devil let out a snort, but closed his eyes and relaxed as Dice gently carded his fingers through his fur.

 

  1. In a Store



 

“Don’t touch anything,” King Dice said, staring at Cuphead pointedly. Cuphead just grinned at him and looked innocent, as if to say, ‘why, I’d _never_ ’. “I’m being serious, Cuphead. If you break anything, we have to pay for it.”

“I won’t! I promise! I’m a good child,” Cuphead responded, practically skipping alongside him. King Dice sighed loudly, and just shook his head.

Mugman clutched Dice’s hand tightly, and he pressed himself hard against his thigh. Dice was grateful that he had at least one kid that did what he asked. Mugman was such a good child, he was surprised that he and Cuphead had the same genes. Cuphead was such a wild child, and Mugman was . . . not. He supposed it was nurture, not nature, because he helped a lot in rearing Mugman, while Cuphead was favored by the Devil. If it had been the other way around, or if he had raised both by themselves, it probably would have been slightly different.

(That’s not to say that they didn’t help raise the other child, they most certainly did. Mugman and Cuphead just preferred to go to one over the other for comfort, which meant that they bonded closer with one parent.)

Keeping one eye on Cuphead, they walked down an isle and he looked over the array of plates. He could see Cuphead from his peripheral, but he could also tell from the way Mugman’s head kept adjusting against his pants that he was keeping an eye on Cuphead for him.

For the most part he put Cuphead out of his mind. He knew he wouldn’t do anything too bad, since they were in public. Cuphead left being a trouble maker to home for the most part.

He picked up a plate with his free hand and looked it over, before he felt Mugman tugging on his pant leg. He glanced down to see Mugman pointing towards Cuphead. Before he could turn to look at what was happening, he heard a loud crash. He tensed, and turned his head to see Cuphead surrounded by shattered plates. There were a few pieces of porcelain in the soda in his head, and Cuphead uneasily picked it out. His back was to Dice.

“Cuphead!” he shouted, running over to him. “I thought I told you not to touch anything?” he asked, gently turning Cuphead around.

He gasped softly when he saw cracks on his head. They were small, but they weren’t going to be fixed so easily. “Cuphead—”

“I’m sorry,” he stuttered out, tears in his eyes. “My pants got caught. I didn’t want to bother you. They were pulled off on accident. I’m sorry.”

He could see that he was genuinely sorry, and wasn’t just faking it so he’d get out of trouble. Sighing, Dice pulled him close. “I know you didn’t. I’m sorry for yelling. Look, let’s just get this cleaned up, and pay for it along with the new dishes, and we’ll go, okay? How’s your head, does it feel all right?”

Cuphead wipes at his eyes. “Yeah. It just hurts a bit. I-I’ll be fine until we see Corkscrew. I’m sorry.”

“Cuphead, I said it was fine, okay? No need to apologize. Your pants got caught like you said. You didn’t mean it. I—”

“What the _fuck_!”

Quickly, King Dice stood up and whipped around to face who spoke. Mugman jumped behind him, and cowered. King Dice glared at the rat standing in front of him. The rat was clearly the owner of the store, and he was very pissed. “Your little runts are going to have to pay for that!” the rat shouted. “They’re going to have to clean that up as well?”

“You’re not going to tell me what my children are going to do,” King Dice shot back. “And doesn’t your _fine_ establishment have janitors?” He glanced around. While it wasn’t the dirtiest store, it certainly wasn’t the cleanest. But, it was the only store to sell dishes that were even close to the Devil’s standard, so how clean it was or not didn’t really matter. But, it would be stupid of him to _not_ use it against him. “Clearly not, looking at the state of your store!”

The rat got mad, and he said, “So you’re going to leave this mess for my people to clean up? Are you also not going to pay for it?”

“I would have, but your insolent tone is really pissing me off. Not to mention you cursed in front of my kids, and called them runts. You’re lucky I don’t kick your ass.”

“Oh, what are you going to do? Kick me to death—yikes!” the rat had started to grin at him, but stopped when King Dice pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket, and caused them to float in the air and shoot towards the rat. The rat ducked, and they all soared over his head, but came towards him. They stopped, barely brushing his back, and hovered there.

“Now,” King Dice said, finally getting the rat’s full attention. “I’m going to pay for these dishes that my son broke. We will clean it up for you, and purchase some nonbroken ones as well. You’re also going to apologize to my sons.” He paused, and then added, “You’re really lucky I don’t shred you to pieces. Now, don’t mess this up.”

The rat hurriedly apologized, collapsing to his knees in front of Dice. “Good. Now, go get me a trash can, and ring me up for these plates along with those,” he said, nodding in the direction of the marble plates. “I would like twenty of those marble plates. Now, scram.”

He watched him go, and he took a deep breath, before he turned around to look at Mugman and Cuphead, only to find them staring at him in awe.

“You’re so cool,” Cuphead murmured, flinging himself into Dice’s arms. Dice was slightly shocked, but he smiled, and hugged Cuphead back.

 

  1. Casino



 

Their job was the one place where they had an excuse to get away from their kids. Well, it also helped that they ran a casino, and casinos had a strict ‘no children’ policy, but whatever. Even if they didn’t run a casino, they would still have the opportunity to get away. They loved them to pieces, but somedays you just needed to get away, you know? Especially considering the fact that Cuphead got himself into some weird situation every day. Sometimes it was hard to keep up.

So that’s why when Hopus Pocus strolled up to Dice with their children holding his hands he nearly shit himself.

“What are you doing here?” he asked softly, trying to hide his surprise. “Shouldn’t you be at school?”

“Yeah, we should,” Mugman said, glaring at Cuphead.

King Dice turned his gaze on Cuphead. “What happened?”

Cuphead pulled his head up, and smiled unsurely at Dice. King Dice was surprised to see a chip beneath his eye. “I got into a fight. Mugman got kicked out because he tried to stop the fight and the other kid said that he punched him. Mugs actually didn’t do anything. I promise,” he said, but the grin didn’t leave his face.

King stared at him hard, before he sighed. He looked at the butler. “Take Mugs to Devil. I’ll keep Cuphead with me.”

Cuphead pouted as Hopus escorted Mugs away. “Why do I have to stay with you?”

“Because if you went with the Devil, he wouldn’t pay attention to you and you’d create mayhem,” King Dice said softly. “Now, would you like to ride on my shoulders?” When he saw Cuphead nod, he gently picked him up and placed him on his shoulders. He then walked off into the casino.

 

 

            The Devil was having an easier time adjusting to Mugman being there than King Dice. The Devil didn’t do much work anyways, so he mainly just plaid with Mugman. They plaid tic tac toe, and even hide and seek. No one ever came and bothered him—and if they did they knocked beforehand—so the Devil wasn’t so worried about goofing off. Another plus about having Mugman around was that he wouldn’t make any bets today. No one ever bet their soul when the kids could be around to see the crueler part of their job.

            King Dice on the other hand, was having a much harder time. It was hard to be imposing and serious with a seven-year-old on your shoulders.

            “P-please, Mr. Dice!” the man pleaded, tears in his eyes. “I-I know I bet my money of my own free will, b-but I need to be able to feed my family! I-I’ll bring you the money as soon as I get my next check, p- _please_ ,” the man sobbed.

            Dice sighed, and crossed his arms. He looked at the man, and tried to keep his gaze hard, even though he understood the man’s predicament perfectly clear. If he was anyone else, he would have let him go. But he’s not a normal man, nor is his job normal. He didn’t want to seem so cold hearted to Cuphead, but he also couldn’t falter at his job. The fact that his child was on his shoulders should mean nothing.

            “Look, sir, I understand completely your predicament. But you bet your money. You bet your money and continued to bet it because you had hopes of making it back, or more. This isn’t my fault. You should have more self-control,” he said, meeting the man’s eyes. The man sobbed loudly. “I have no choice but to have you pay up.”

            “Yeah!” Cuphead exclaimed, much to the man and King Dice’s surprise. “Pay up! Your mistake.”

            “Cuphead,” King Dice said sharply, before he turned his gaze to the man. “The kid’s right.”

            The man let out a violent sob, but he paid up. King Dice pocketed the money. “Thank you, sir,” he said, winking at him.

            “Don’t mess with King Dice!” Cuphead shouted gleefully as they walked away.

            “Kid, you’re taking too much joy out of this.”

            Cuphead frowned, resting his chin on the top of Dice’s head. “I was just trying to help you out.”

            “Well, you did, so I’ll have to thank you for that. Now, are you hungry?” When he felt him nod, he said, “All right, let’s go.”

            He walked over to the counter, and sat Cuphead on the counter. He waved Martini over. She raised an eyebrow at him. “Is this your kid?” she asked, and he could tell she was falling in love with how cute he was. “He’s very cute if he is.”

            “Of course he is. Didn’t you see his photo in Devil’s office?” he asked, before he said to Cuphead, “Tell Martini here what you want.”

            “Can I have some chips? Ooh, and peanuts!” he said.

            Martini smiled at him, and nodded. She left briefly, and came back with his food. “I try not to look around when I go into the boss’ office. I walked in once and he had a very . . . uh . . . _not safe for work_ photo of you and him. Besides, a lot of that stuff seems private. Don’t want to intrude, you know?” she said, as she poured him a glass of pop.

            Cuphead grinned widely and he took the glass, eagerly sucking it down. King Dice had to smile at how happy Cuphead was. “Don’t worry, I forced him to take it down once we adopted them, so it’s safe to look now. God, I can’t believe you’ve never met him or Mugman before. I’ll have to introduce you all to them tonight before I leave I guess.”

            Martini smiled, and then glanced either way down the counter. She sighed. “Be back,” she said, before she disappeared down the row to fill out an order.

            King Dice sat down, and stole a couple of Cuphead’s chips, grinning at him when he squealed and said, “Hey!” King Dice leaned forward in response and blew a raspberry on his cheek, causing him to laugh loudly.

            “Hey,” a voice called from behind him. He spun his chair around to see a slightly disgruntled flower sitting a couple chairs away. “No kids allowed in the casino, you fuck.” From here, King Dice could smell the scent of alcohol pouring off him. The flower must be so damn drunk he didn’t recognize him.

            “Oh, sir, I do know that. I have permission from the owner for him to be in here. I suggest that you turn around, and shut up,” King Dice said, smiling grimly at the flower. “Otherwise, you won’t like what I’m going to do.”

            “Oh, you gonna cause a scene in the Devil’s casino? Very smart of you,” the man spat back, his stems ruffling.

            King Dice grinned madly. “I don’t think the Devil would appreciate you talkin’ to me like that. Do you know who I fuckin’ am?” he didn’t mind cursing in front of Cuphead, especially now when this flower was being a little bitch. “Martini!” King Dice called out his shoulder, pulling out a deck of cards. He jerked his hand upwards, and before the cards fell to the ground, he snapped his fingers and they flew rapidly towards the flower.

            Martini looked up, because she heard her name called, but she had no idea what for. She shrugged, and turned her gaze back down to her work. Cuphead watched King Dice beat up the flower for a bit, before he hopped down from the counter and ran off.

 

 

            King Dice brushed his coat jacket off, before he snapped his fingers, and the cards flew up off the ground, and gathered in a pile, before they landed in his hands. He pocketed the cards, and nodded to the guards, “Take him away, boys. Make sure he never comes back. The Devil doesn’t take kindly to people who use such disrespectful tones.”

            The guards roughly grabbed the flower, and escorted him out. King Dice swept his gaze across the room. No one was paying attention, much to his surprise. They probably heard what was going on and would rather keep their heads and their sanity before they messed with him. He huffed, and adjusted his tie. That was the one interesting part about his job, he could act like an ass all he wanted but these people would come back no matter what he did.

            They always came back.

            He turned his gaze towards the counter, and he was a little shocked to see that Cuphead wasn’t sitting where he had left him. His eyes scanned the bar looking for Martini, and his eyes landed on her immediately. He quickly walked over to the counter, and flagged her over.

            She frowned, but came over nonetheless. “Dice, you know I like talking to you, but I really can’t do that all day. I do have customers to serve.” When she saw his look of concern, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

            “Where’s Cuphead? I left him right here with you. I asked you to watch him,” he said. When he saw her eyes slightly widen, his heart dropped in his stomach.

            “I-I’m sorry,” she said, apologizing profusely. “I heard you call my name but I didn’t hear what you wanted. I-I’m so sorry. I could call Rum over and h-he can help you find him—”

            Dice shook his head, silencing her. “No. I’ll find him. He can’t have gone that far. I doubt he would have left the casino. If I can’t find him in here, I’ll check with Devil, and if he’s not there then I’ll recruit some help. For now, this stays between us. Understood?” When he saw Martini nod in understanding, did he turn on his heel and walk quickly away.

 

 

            Once King Dice found Cuphead, he was going to check him over for any wounds, alcohol, tobacco, whatever, and then he was going to kick his ass. Not literally, King Dice would _never_ lay a violent hand on his child, but he was going to make him feel bad about running off.

            He looked by the pachinko and slot machines, and he wasn’t there. He then looked towards the Craps table, Black Jack, and even the Poker table.

            He wasn’t there.

            Dice was about to give up and go check Devil’s office when he caught a small red blur moving towards the Rummy table out of the corner of his eye. His head wiped around and he stopped abruptly in the walkway, causing a couple of customers to run into him. He barely noticed them, and they seemed to realize who he was, because they quickly walked away without a word.

            He watched Cuphead walk towards the Rummy table, and attempt to stand on his tip toes to see what was going on. For the most part, Cuphead seemed fine, much to King Dice’s relief.

            All that relief went out the window though the moment a drunken customer said, “Oh, thanks for the drink,” to a waiter as they walked past, and promptly grabbed Cuphead’s head.

            King Dice screeched loudly as the customer _ripped Cuphead’s head off his body_. He would have fainted right then and there if Cuphead’s hands didn’t immediately reach to his head. King Dice felt light headed as he watched Cuphead’s body continue to act normal while his head was detached from his body.

            Fighting the will to throw up, he stumbled towards the table, and he threw up in his mouth a bit as the customer put Cuphead’s head to his lips and drank the soda from his head. He heard the customer vaguely complain about the contents not being burnt with alcohol, but the customer continued to sip from his son’s head anyways.

            Finally reaching the table, Dice tried to compose himself as Cuphead’s tiny fists beat against the drunk man’s legs. “Sir. Please return my son’s head to me,” King Dice said, his voice surprisingly steady, and the feeling of wanting to vomit was for the most part gone.

            The customer looked up at him, and frowned. “What are you talkin’ about?”

            King Dice pointed to the cup. “That cup is my son’s head. Please give it to me.”

            The customer continued to looked confused, but looked down at the cup. He screamed loudly when he met Cuphead’s eyes, and he dropped the cup. King Dice quickly caught it, and said, “Thank you,” before he picked up Cuphead’s body and rushed him to his office. He locked the door once they were inside, and he placed Cuphead’s body in his chair before he carefully placed his head back on, trying to keep his hands steady.

            Once Cuphead blinked at him, and readjusted his head, King Dice exclaimed, “Are you okay!?” and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. “You had me worried sick! I thought someone kidnapped you! Don’t ever run off like that again! Just because this is papa’s work doesn’t mean you get to treat it like your second home!” He chastised, but then immediately changed his tune, “God, I was so damn worried. But you’re okay, right?”

            Cuphead was staring at him with wide eyes, and he nodded fearfully. “I-I’m fine. M-my head feels weird but that always happens when I take my head off. S-sorry for worrying you,” he responded, his voice soft. He hugged Dice back tightly, and Dice pulled him into his lap, resting his back against the desk and kissing the side of his head softly.

            “I know you are. I’m just glad you’re okay,” King Dice replied, rubbing Cuphead’s back gently. He was silent for a long time before Cuphead’s words settled in. “Wait, you knew you could take your head off?”

            “Yeah?” Cuphead said, making it sound like Dice was asking a stupid question. “Mugman and I take our heads off all the time. You didn’t know that?”

            “No, I didn’t . . . While that’s very cool, please don’t do that again. Okay? Take your heads off all you want when you and Mugman are alone, but please don’t do it in front of me. You made papa physically ill seeing that.”

            “Well, you should have felt sick? You thought a man ripped my head off.”

            “. . . That’s very true.”

            Cuphead snuggled in closer to Dice, and tried to work his way beneath his coat. “I smell gross. Everyone smells like you and Dad when you come home. But they’re not going to take showers and change like you and dad do,” he said, and then sneezed, getting some of the contents of his head all over Dice’s clothes. “Can we not come back here?”

            “Well, maybe don’t get kicked out of school.”

            Cuphead huffed. “Fine.”

            King Dice smiled, and kissed his head.

 

  1. Kidnapped



 

When the Devil woke up, he knew something was wrong. His head hurt, and every movement of his limbs felt heavy. He knew it wasn’t a hangover, he hadn’t gotten drunk in years, and he certainly didn’t do it last night. Last night was game night. The four of them had laid on their bed and played Chutes and Ladders, before they all curled up together in bed and fell asleep.

So why did he feel so damn ill?

He rolled over, eyes falling closed and he threw an arm out to protectively cover their kids, when his arm just hit the bed sheets. Panicked, his eyes opened wide. He stared hard at the spot where Cuphead and Mugman usually laid, and he wondered where the hell they were. They _never_ woke up early the days they slept in their bed.

His eyes fell on Dice, who looked more passed out then asleep. Sluggishly, he crawled over to Dice and gently shook him, murmuring in a panicked tone, “Dice, for the love of God, _Dice_ , wake up.”

“Wha?” Dice murmured, after Devil violently shook him. “What you want?”

“The kids are gone,” he replied. Dice’s eyes began to slide shut, and the Devil realized then and there that something was seriously wrong. “Dice. _The kids are gone_.”

Dice’s eyes closed. The Devil was about to shake him awake again when Dice’s eyes suddenly popped open, and stared at him in panic. He shot upwards. “ _What?_ ” he demanded.

“The kids are gone,” the Devil reiterated.

Dice leaped out of bed, and began to hurriedly put his clothes on. “L-let’s go!” he shouted. “We’ve got to go find them!”

“We don’t even know where they are or who took them—”

“Use your head!” King Dice snapped, before he pressed the palm of his hands against his eyes. “Who do you _think_ would take them? Out of all our debtors, who’s stupid enough to mess with us?” When the Devil didn’t respond, King Dice groaned loudly and said, “Beppi the bitch!”

“Oh!” the Devil exclaimed, before his eyes hardened. “Let’s go.” He stood up, and picked his cigar up off the bedside table. He lit it, and then sucked in a hearty mouthful of smoke, before he exhaled it in a vertical ring. It spun, and a portal opened. King Dice could see through it to Inkwell Isle II. The Devil looked towards him, with a predatory smile. “Let’s go get our boys back.”

 

 

“My dads are going to kick your ass!” Cuphead shouted loudly at Beppi, and glared at him from his spot on the rollercoaster car.

Beppi just laughed at him. “Didn’t your parents ever teach you about naughty words?”

“Yeah, they did! But I doubt there’s any others words to use against you, you’ve probably heard them all!” Cuphead responded, struggling wildly in his seat. Mugman looked at him with worry, and flopped his tied legs over Cuphead’s to keep him in place. “Let me go, Mugs!”

“You struggle anymore and you’re going to fall to your death,” he said bluntly. “I don’t think they’d be too happy to come and save us only to find out you plummeted to your death because you couldn’t wait for them.”

Cuphead stared hard at them, then let out a disgruntled sigh, and glared at Beppi. “I just hope you’re right, Mugs.”

 

 

            Devil and Dice landed on the rollercoaster tracks in front of Beppi and the car.

            “Dads!” the boys shouted. Cuphead turned to Beppi, and added, “They’re going to kill you!”

            “ _Cuphead_ ,” King Dice said exasperatedly, but glared angrily at Beppi.

            “I’ll give you one chance,” the Devil said, stepping forward threateningly, “to let our sons go, and we’ll be on our way. If you don’t, well . . .”

            “Give me my contract and I’ll let them go.”

            The Devil scoffed, but King Dice cursed, “Devil! Just give him his contract! Is it really worth it?”

            “Yes! He lost. He needs to pay up!” the Devil responded, glaring pointedly at King Dice for even suggesting such a thing.

            Beppi laughed loudly. “Then say good bye!” he shouted, before he pulled a lever and the rollercoaster car took off. The Devil and King Dice jumped quickly out of the way to stop from getting run over. King Dice struggled to hang onto the wooden planks holding the coaster up, and he looked up in time to see the Devil growing pissed, and the cigar smoke growing more intense.

            “I’ll take care of Beppi,” the Devil snapped, looking down at Dice, “You grab the boys and go.”

            “Are you sure you can take care of him by yourself?” King Dice asked, but his eyes were already following the path of the rollercoaster.”

            “I’m _the Devil_ ,” he snapped in response.

            Dice just took a deep breath, and watched the rollercoaster cart. Once it started to get on the tracks beneath him, he timed it out, and then dropped.

 

 

            Cuphead and Mugman were being violently tossed around the cart as it went through the coaster. The only thing holding them in place was the bar that had fallen over their lap. With each full lap they looked around the coaster, the ride slowly got faster, and picked up speed.

            Mugman had mentioned something about seeing King Dice fall, but they never got another glimpse of him. They flew past Devil and Beppi, but never saw King Dice.

            A gloved hand came up between them, and roughly grabbed the back of the seat. They both turned their head to see King Dice struggling to pull himself forward against the g-forces. “Papa!” they shouted.

            Dice smiled at them. “I’m here. We’re going to go while dad finishes off Beppi. I’m sorry you two got involved,” he said, then ducked quickly as a green penguin came flying at his head. “Let’s talk at home.” He then picked both of them up, holding them close to his chest, before he jumped off of the rollercoaster, and down to the ground. He quickly untied them. “Let’s go—” he began, but stopped when the Devil flew over their heads, and crashed into the ground. They turned their gaze to him, before he launched himself back at Beppi. Dice sighed. “Your dad needs my help. Both of you go into Inkwell Isle and head to the Die House. Someone will be there to take you home.”

            Mugman whimpered. “W-when will you c-come home? W-what if something h-h-happens?”

            Dice looked at Mugman for a brief second, and then he pulled out his deck of cards. He picked up the top one, and he hoped that this would still work. Holding it between his thumb and index finger, he whistled loudly. The card glowed red, and he covered his eyes as a black dog broke through the card. The black dog paced around Cuphead and Mugman, it’s eyes glowing red. “This is Levi. He will protect you on your way to the Die House. If anyone tries to hurt you, just sick him on them. Once you get to the Die House he’ll disappear.” He snapped his fingers, and a leash appeared in his hand, and wrapped around Levi’s throat. He handed the leash to Levi. “We’ll be home shortly. Now, go.” Without waiting to see them go, King Dice turned, and began to climb his way up to the coaster.

            “Let’s go!” Cuphead exclaimed, taking Mugman’s hand and heading towards the Die House. Mugman nervously glanced behind him the whole way.

 

 

            Beppi was harder then they thought. It took a while to kill him, and once they did, they wanted to go to bed for a long, _long_ time.

            They entered the house, with Dice leaning heavily on the Devil. King Dice’s suit was completely ruined, and they were in desperate need of a doctor. They weren’t going to go, though. They were going to get changed and then go see their boys.

            They stumbled upstairs and past the closed bathroom door. They could hear splashing coming from inside. King Dice pressed his head against Devil’s shoulder hard, and he sighed. Once they got inside their room, King Dice undressed, before he began bandaging the Devil’s wounds. “You’re the Devil, hm? You can handle anything, hm?” King Dice hummed.

            The Devil scoffed. “Shut up. You didn’t fare much better.”

            “That’s true. But at least I lasted longer.”

            He snorted, and just shook his head. Once he was all wrapped up, did the Devil return the favor. Dice’s wounds were a lot worse, because at one point the Devil had been knocked out, leaving him to fend for himself. Wincing, King Dice put on his pajamas, and together the two of them walked to the bathroom, leaning on each other. As soon as they opened the door, the maid stood up and left. Cuphead and Mugman turned to him, smiling brightly. They exclaimed their names excitedly as the two sat down by the tub.

            “How are our boys doing?” Dice asked, leaning over and placing a kiss on each of their heads. Mugman and Cuphead smiled at them, before they began to talk excitedly and animatedly. King Dice rested his head on the Devil’s shoulder, and listened, nodding every once and a while. His hand found the Devil’s and he squeezed it tightly.

 

+1. Family Vacation

 

            The Devil had given him a weird look when he had suggested going on vacation, but now that they were wading in the water in Inkwell Aisle I, and watching Cuphead and Mugman playing on floaties, he knew that the Devil needed this as much as them.

            The Devil’s arm draped tiredly over his shoulder. “They’re having so much fun,” he said, as they watched Mugman plug his nose, and shoot water out of his straw at Cuphead, who immediately dived under the water. “I’m glad you suggested this.”

            “They needed this.”

            The Devil took his hand. “We needed this too.”

            King Dice turned and embraced the Devil, burying his face in the wet fur. “I know. But they needed this the most. They’ve gone through so much because of us, they needed some time where everything is just . . . calm.”

            The Devil frowned. “There’s moments where everything is calm! For the most part, it’s only our lives that are in chaos. No one knows about them unless we want them too. Hell, we put our names on their school forums as something completely different. I don’t know how Beppi found out about them, but I’m definitely putting some of our best people on it. Whoever leaked that information is going to—what?” he asked, staring at King Dice when he raised his head to look him in the eyes.

            “Can we not talk about killing anyone? I . . . I just want to focus on what’s happening right now. Can we do that? Please?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

            The Devil stared at him, brow furrowed, before he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek. “Yes. We can. I—” he was interrupted again, but this time by Cuphead, who shouted, “Dad! Throw me into the water!”

            They pulled away, and looked down to see Cuphead next to them, the water up around his chin. “Throw me!” he shouted again.

            The Devil chuckled, and picked him up beneath the arms, before he tossed him in the air. Cuphead landed in the water with a loud splash, and he resurfaced, giggling loudly. “Again!”

            The Devil walked forward, and grabbed him again. Instead of throwing him, he began to tickle him. Mugman swam over to them. “Hey! I-I want to be thrown!” he exclaimed, and the Devil grabbed him, before he cuddled them close to his chest.

            “Nah, I’m just going to kiss you instead!” The Devil replied, kissing one of them before turning his head to kiss the other. They squealed loudly.

            King Dice smiled softly. For once, everything was good.


End file.
